Things Fall Apart
I've been putting off writing this post for about a month. I didn't know how to write it. Didn't know if I should stick to the knitting, stick to the technical bits, or delve a little deeper.
I've decided to delve.
I started knitting this simple entrelac blanket somewhere around May 13th. I was about to take a week's vacation from work as my mother-in-law was visiting from Perth to spend some time with us. This would fly off the needles during the various car rides, train rides, and catching-up time we'd be spending.
My mother-in-law landed safely, we spent one day together, and then I got a text from an Aunt that my father was being admitted to the hospital for some tests.
The next morning, I gathered up my yarn and headed to the hospital. I spent everyday there for the rest of that week. I held the yarn, I ran my hands over the tiny bit of blanket that had been knit before, but I didn't knit anything new. I couldn't. I held my dad's hand, I sat at the foot of his bed, I spoke to doctor after doctor. And I held my yarn.
The following Monday, exactly 1 week after being admitted, my dad was released. He got to go home. Under the care of Hospice nurses.
The blanket was there, sitting on my lap in the chair next to his bed while he rested. On the table on the front porch when we got outside for some fresh air and sunshine. On the couch in the living room with family gathered around.
The blanket was there, but it was not knit. My world was too heavy. All of my energy was spent helping my father finish his projects. Finishing a project of mine was just simply too heavy. I would have time to finish my project. He would not have time to finish his.
And when all was said, and all was done, and the world began to try to get back to normal, I did pick up the blanket and realized that the small amount of knitting I had managed to accomplish would have to be frogged anyway.
And that was okay with me. A baby blanket should be knit with love, and hope, and talks of a future.
It made it safely to it's recipient, and I hope the tiny human finds comfort being swaddled in it.
Stash buster. Cascade Yarns Jewel in color Aqua. Long since discontinued.